When I woke up, it was already 7 o’clock. I was late for Subuh prayer, again. I was 16 and I still had the same problem; to perform solat on time. I planned to wake up early, to meet Him, to thank Him for giving me chance to live another day.

At least, I can ask Him to take away lung cancer from Abah.

It was Friday. After du’a, I sat awhile on the prayer mat. Praying the best for Abah. He had been in the hospital for a week or so.

I didn’t really know his actual condition, but I knew Abah was having severe pain.

It was only me and Wan, my grandmother at home. Kak Ngah was in the hospital, nursing Abah.

After Subuh, which was performed after Syuruk, I decided to take a nap. The dreams that I had a night before made so tired.

Phone rang just before I shut my eyes. I rush for the call.


Abah passed away. Few minutes after I pray hard to Allah to alleviate his pain.

Yes, Allah granted my dua by taking Abah away, together with the pain.

I console myself.

To accept that after this, there’ll be no more Abah, sending me to school every morning.

To chat with me about random and silly things.

I just had lost Abah; a friend of mine that stays true and pure, when I was soiled with doubt and dirt.

I miss hugging him.


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