On 24th December 2014, I registered as a Phd student at UiTM, Shah Alam. I made that decision of pursuing studies in fact earlier than that, and it was confirmed after I received a young lecturer scholarship from the same uni, UiTM.
So, many people asked me, why do I do Phd? Like, I already have a job, and I can get a job elsewhere with my master, but why Phd?
Some of them also asked, why do I start Phd now, not then, when I was a bachelor? Like, of course, when you’re married and have a child to take care of, doing Phd might not be a good option, at least to these questioners.
Now, it is always my ambition to be a lecturer. I applied TPM (the scheme) since 2009, right after I finished doing undergrad studies but I had never been called for interview, not even once. So I had to use my own money to do masters which I did in 2011 in UM. I did it afterwork since I was working as a young lecturer at Masterskill (now known as AMU). After that, I worked at KYUEM and then, PASUM. I completed my masters in 2013, 3 days after I got married.
2014, after working for about 2 years, for the first time I got called for the interview. So to make it short, I was shortlisted and offered the scholarship. After weighing the options, I decided to quit and start doing Phd.
I can’t tell whether this is the right decision, but I can tell this is what I wanted to do. After all, it is you that decide what you want to do in life, not people. As long as you know, that you are doing it for your own good, then why not.
I discussed with my wife and she was okay with it. I explained to her the challenges that we may encounter in the future, but she was totally okay.
But I hate it to hear people say, ” untunglah belajar, isteri bekerja” as though I have been fully sponsored by my wife and to suggest how irresponsible and lousy I am as a husband and a father. So far, Alhamdulillah, I still am the breadwinner for my family. I don’t have to spell out every single penny that I spent for my family, because ultimately, Allah knows.
This is my second year doing Phd. Alhamdulillah, it’s been good. I have 2 crucial more years to finish all these things. At times, I feel low and don’t feel like doing anything and the only motivations I have are my wife, Intan, and my daughter, Iona. These are people who really understand me, and really push me to the limit.
Phd is no joke! Like seriously, especially for me who has no experience in research works. But I took it as a challenge. And somehow, I really like negative remarks that people put on me, for it makes me even more spirited and indirectly they propel me to work harder.
It is a laborious and tiring journey, surely. But this is what I wanted to do. I don’t have to tell people my progress of work. I just have to report it to my supervisor, as long as she has the confidence in me, that is enough. Because, some people, who do not know workloads that I have to attend to, simply comment, ” banyak tu je ke buat dalam setahun ni?”. That condescending remark hurt me, but, I chose to ignore.
I am lucky for being given a good support system, my wife and Iona, family and friends are so supportive and understanding. I hope, I can finish this as soon as possible. Peeps, pray for me!