I plan to start doing experiment early today because the reaction will take about 12 hour to complete. The earlier I start, the earlier I can go home, I presume.

But things happened.

I reached UiTM around 6 and went straight to lab only to realise the access card was broken. I tried to flash the card for many times but it didn’t work. So, I had to wait my friends to come and give me another card.

Allah. Dugaan.

I managed to calm myself down after receiving soothing words from wife saying that

Allah loves you, Abang. He wants you to be more patient. There must be blessings in disguise.

It took me moments to have realised that I can just plan, Allah will determine whether my plans can be executed or not. I believe, there must be reasons why Allah delayed me.

I smiled to myself. Hey this is just a small matter which should not let me down. I decided to be positive and start the work later, around 1130 a.m.

This is one of the challenges that I have to face. Unexpected obstacles. Having faith in Allah is the best way to be strong and ready to deal with these circumstances.

Seriously, these couple of weeks have been really challenging for me, emotionally. I pushed myself very hard that at times, I have to admit that I am no perfect that there are things that I need to learn slowly . I have set a very high standard for me to achieve and I know it can be unattainable. I have always been like that. And it is killing me slowly now.

I still try to learn to know myself, appreciate myself more and value every hard work that I did; things that I rarely do.

The dilemma is, what attributes should I have to excel? As for now, hating myself, pushing myself to the limit and punishing myself when I did not perform are things that seem to be plausible.





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