Sebelum Pulang

Sebenarnya,

Yang paling aneh tentang kehidupan itu bukan kerana kamu sering sendiri saat kamu susah, tetapi betapa senangnya kamu melupakan kesusahan saat kamu tidak sendiri lagi-

Sedangkan sendirian itulah teman yang menjadikan kamu kuat berdiri, berlari malah menari

Walau ada waktunya kamu bersoal-soal sendiri

Siapa akan hadir waktu ini kalau aku ajak ketemu dan berjumpa? Terdengarkah atau tidak setiap jerih yang melaung dari dasar hati yang mendatar ini?

Soalan-soalan yang tidak membahagiakan seperti itu hanya menekan lagi hidupmu. Jadi mengapa perlu?

Begitulah dewasa mengajarkan erti hidup dan kehidupan. Kerana itu teman, andai nanti kamu rasa tiada sesiapa yang mahu mendekatimu kerana kamu tidak punya apa-apa yang istimewa-

Pulang segera ke pangkuan yang Maha Mencipta-

Lihat semula insan-insan hebat yang Dia berikan kepadamu, walau kamu manusia paling dingin, kompleks dan tidak menentu-

Pulang dan dakap setiap satu tubuh yang rohnya hidup kerana kamu

dan mungkin untuk kamu.

Hari ini adalah hari yang sama seperti sebelumnya

berusaha atas daya sendiri- menari tanpa pasangan- ketawa dan menangis tanpa teman,

Bezanya, hari ini kamu punya insan yang setia menantimu pulang

pulang

 

Does Emotion Affect Productivity?

Assalamualaikum and good evening,

This entry is written after realizing that it has been almost 3 months since I wrote something here. I am happy if I could write at least an entry monthly. So, I am quite off-track. I know, though the number of readers is not many, but there are people who read my blog and that makes me really really happy. So please don’t stop making me happy ya? Hahaha

Speaking of happiness, today, my labmates and I had a light discussion on how emotions could have affected the results of our experiments.The happier, the better. This is not my first time I heard about this so-called theory, I have heard about it from some other people as well, those who have obtained their doctoral degrees.

I am a person who does not believe any theory easily. At least, not until I experience it myself. As of this date, I am sure that my mood was okay when I conducted experiments but I still obtained bad results so I assume, emotions do not really help me to get good results.

Because to me, works are not dependent upon emotions only but also interest in doing it. We need passion- doing things wholeheartedly- so as to see good outcomes. It is good if we can keep ourselves focused despite what we feel inside. Things must be done, regardless the state of emotions

Every one of us struggles with different emotional instability. In fact, it is common when we descend down the valley of spirit every now and then but if we focus too much what to feel instead of what to do then we would end up getting nothing done.

We would be feeling even more terrible when days wasted on petty things while our works abandoned. Ignore what envelops our heart for a moment, get things done and be always reminded what we do now will determine where will we be, tomorrow.

That’s all for now, Salam Maghrib everyone!

 

WINNING

I don’t remember when was the last time I got excited about winning things. Probably, that was when I represented university for national debating championships. Me and my team mates worked our socks off to get cups for the university.

We won a few, we lost a lot.

After some time, I could feel the same thrill again when I joined IIDEX2016 (Innovation, Invention and Design Exposition) organised by UiTM this week. It is actually an annual expo held to encourage more innovations and inventions among researchers.

As a first-timer, I have no idea at all about the expo. I was asked to present a poster based on my co-supervisor’s PhD project. Of course, I wanted to give my best as she entrusted me with the task. But, I think I didn’t perform well during the presentation. I believe, I could have given more than that. It is always like that; believing that I could have done better.

But we still get bronze for that project, mainly because the project itself is superb. So, all the credit should go to my co-sv. I am happy that despite my so-so presentation, we still get the place.

Although I am not happy with what I have presented, I am lucky to be part of the project as I learned a lot throughout the process especially when I saw other impressive gold medalists’ posters, products and presentations. I hope I can be as good as them.

Yes, it is good to be competitive for it will propel myself further, and push me to the very limit. Seriously, I can not really fathom why some people see competitiveness negatively.

I am grateful for all the experience that I gained from this expo.

I can’t wait for the next edition.

 

 

31

This is painful- the feeling of not liking yourself.  I know I should not be too hard on myself, but I just can not. The feeling is growing stronger as I get older.

17 of September every year, I would do a detailed examination on myself. How far have I progressed as a person?

Have I become better?

These are the questions that I ask myself, every year, on my birthday.

This year, I turn 31.

I am not happy reaching this age as I have not made pronounced changes in myself. I have not put enough efforts towards self-betterment.

Honestly, there are many things that I want to change about myself but I have failed miserably.

I do not know whether I have tried enough to improve my relationship with Allah. Have all the sins forgiven?

I do not know either, how much effort have I made to be accepted by others, especially those that I hold dear in my heart.

How much joy have I brought into their life?

I want my presence to be felt and my absence to be missed. I want my existence to be a reason for someone to smile.  It would hurt me deeply if it is ignored and unfavored. So long it is taken in that manner then the definition of happiness will be forever incomplete.

I hope, that I am able to be a better version of me, every year. No matter how deplorably I have failed, I really hope that I will not give up trying to be better.

Happy 31st Birthday to me! 🙂

 

 

 

 

You ARE Beautiful!

This is for my beloved wife.

I want it to be read by others too, hence I put it up on this blog. You may find this obnoxious, but I seriously think that everyone can relate to this ‘story’.

My wife was not happy today when she reached her office. At least, not as happy as she was when she left home and when I kissed her forehead this morning. I knew it from the message that she sent to me.

‘Do I look good?’

‘Am I ugly?’

I knew it right away that she is not okay.

‘Tell me, am I beautiful?’

I said ‘Of course, you ARE beautiful’.

For the record, she has never asked me these kinds of question before, I mean, with that serious tone so I suspect there’s must be something happen in the office.

So she told me that someone derided the way she looks, with the dated attire and hijab and pimples. That person said my wife looks old.

This is not the first time she received this negative remark. Before this people even imitated the way she walks. But she was so okay and never get offended with all these nonsenses.

But not today. Continue reading “You ARE Beautiful!”

THIRD LETTER FOR YOU

You turned two years old last Saturday, on 3rd September 2016. We went to AEON to buy a slice of cake. It was a chocolate cheese cake; an instance of tolerance as Ibu loves chocolate very much (and hates cheese) and I fond cheese (and despise chocolates), forever. But the cake tasted good, to my surprise.

For the very first time, as it was your birthday, I allowed you to eat cake. You seemed to be enjoying every piece of it.

You are two years old now.

The feelings seeing you grow up are heterogeneous.

Partly, I am happy because you are getting healthier by day. There is nothing to worry. You are completely fine. We managed to set off all the prognosis, so I can proudly pat on your back for being strong and persistent!

But, at the same time, I am worried if I didn’t give my best to you. People say, any fool can have a baby but it takes a man to raise a child.

I do not want to be in the pool of fool, I want to be the man that you will look up to.

Question is, have I been a good father to you?

Continue reading “THIRD LETTER FOR YOU”

GO AFTER YOUR DREAMS!

I have dreams- but dreams have gradually become something that I am not really going after, especially after I reach certain points in my life.

I had a lot of dreams when I was younger. I dreamt to be someone influential; prolific writer, a singer, an actor, politician, and motivational speaker.

Those were the days I thought I could be anything that I want. I am not sure whether that idea is still wearable now. Certainly, those dreams were just dreams. I have never worked towards realising any of them.

Because I used to believe, dreams are just foreseen broken promises that ones have in their mind. I have never believed that it can be real. Dreams are just dreams. 

But the meaning of dreams changed from time to time. I started to see dreams as ambitions- things that we have to go after, doing whatever it takes to realize it.

Once we are determined, we can be whatever we want to be. But of course you would have to encounter few obstacles. 


The most common one is you’ll see people that love to ridicule you and your efforts towards achieving your ambitions. And that can be the cause of failure. We can get easily demotivated when people belittle our dreams and that demotivation can definitely lead to devastation. 

It is hard to get up and just ignore these naysayers because they consistently and persistently want to bring us down.  They will not stop until you say ‘okay I give up’

People expect you to fail that’s normal but you must prove them wrong.  Never ever heed to negative comments which are blatantly intended to stop you from trying. 

We know what we really want and we certainly know the reasons why we chase after our dreams. People will never understand and you don’t have to trouble yourself trying to make them understand. 

Keep the reaction low, let the yield speak. 

I have met many types of people. I used to believe and take every single negative remarks that they put on me. I gave up before I even start trying and that’s regretful. 

I don’t want to regret anymore. I just want to move forward and do the best I could to make sure my future is bright.

I have become a new person in this process that I don’t care less about what people say and think. 

Be with people that know you, love you and support you. Appreciate them. Be a good person and always encourage people to go after their dreams.

Don’t be a person that causes failures of others. Don’t discourage people from trying. 

We all have our own dreams. It may sound impossible to some people but it is okay. 

The only thing matters is you. Be you and make yourself proud.